Learn from this Manifesto, Ladies!

Cause this kid knows what’s up.

Repeat after him!

-Jam out.

I forgot to tell you…

I hate what you’re wearing. Also: that job I hired you to do? You’re doing it wrong.

And could you go ahead and do that thing that you already decided you should do? And like, it’s due today (I know you already knew that but it gives me pleasure to remind you)? Thx. Totally appreciate it.

But not *you* per se, I don’t appreciate YOU.

Let’s just make sure that’s clear.

The White Recession

Alan in accounting just got laid off, is trying not to burn through his savings by working part-time at Starbucks.  He’s too embarassed to tell anyone, and prays his friends go across the street and down one block for their Frappucinos.

Val,  former VP of Marketing, victim of a lowdownsizing, is slumming at Whole Foods. In produce. Ugh.

Tiffany kissed her Nordstrom job (and discount, dammit) goodbye and may have to work at her dad’s architechture firm.

But hey, it’s what you do to get through tough, frightening times.

Estrella scrubs hotel room toilets in the morning, then waits tables in the evening. Akira washes cars, paints houses and does gardening for several households. They’ve been working multiple jobs – boring, hard and mindless – for years. It’s what you do when you’re fighting for a better life.

I gotta ask: Is this a White Recession?

I Forgot to Tell You – the syndrome

oh oh HEY i forgot to tell you something. there’s this new disEASE? it’s got this weird NAME? and there’s no CURE? but i kinda think it’s FUNNY?

it’s called Leprositic Infantitis: you wear infantile behavior on you like a skin disease. frinstance: dumbass twinkies who talk? like everything? is a question?

i know that’s a very old complaint, but it’s worse when it’s worn-out old and it’s still a problem. like rupert murdoch.

milk out.

Harrowing is the word

did I ever say anything nasty about Keira Knightley?  Probably not, but either way, she has my gut-wrenched admiration after watching this PSA against domestic violence (warning: if you are not a monster, it will make you feel sick).

My god.

This short film is part of a national campaign started by Women’s Aid and you can learn more here.

Meanwhile, I’ll just sit here being happy I’m single.

Overheard in SF – N Judah Chronicles

20-something boy: She’s two years younger than me and there was a bit of an age gap when we first started dating.

20-something girl, drily: …She was less mature than you?

20-something boy: <reproachful silence>

20-something girl: I’m just kidding!… I love it when you wear purple.

20-something boy: It’s eggplant.

I loved these two.   Thanks to them I was kept entertained on a very crowded train.  They distracted me from a George Saunders story even!  Hard to do.

This exchange was also good:

20-something girl: I love your earrings!

20-something boy: I made them myself.

20-something girl: No, you didn’t.

20-something boy: No, I didn’t.

Drunken ‘negro’ cookies. Words that don’t belong together.

When Fox is shaming you, you have a serious problem.

Got Bill?

Ohhhhh Lawdie:

I need help here.  It’s awesome….kinda…that she ripped him a new one (old one?).  And I guess Bill is the Elephant that will never leave the Room.  But.  But.  Isn’t she just pit-marrying?  It is possible that he was (is?) a sex offender. After all.

I guess I just don’t know how I feel about this <ho ho ho/ chortle/ what a rake> mentality towards Bill; I was so in his court during his terms and am only processing my distaste for various affronts now.  So this leaves me feeling a bit creeped out.

What do y’all think?

-Jam out.

” ‘Chinese Eyes’ (clap)

Are Watching You (clap clap)!” is the song Miley Cyrus should be hearing in her head right now, if by ‘Chinese’ I mean ‘metaphoric eyes of various Asian-American advocacy groups‘ and if by ‘watching’ I mean ‘super fucking pissed at.’  And I do, believe me.  But let’s look at this alleged racist imagery more closely:

Come on. Really?

Hmmm.  Now maybe the Phelps news has me all paranoid, but this seems to be a reference to something I never heard of until I was older and met pot-smokers from un-PC places like Jersey: the ‘Chinese Eyes’ effect.

If she wasn’t already busy being pissed I was high, and my mother heard me refer to my high that way?  She would have slapped me into decency.   So imagine my surprise when I learned this was common street parlance in some parts of the pot-smoking world.  Here on the Pacific rim, I don’t think it would have occurred to me, but once an idea gets in your head it changes the landscape.  Ergo, I must admit that when I saw the above image I thought, ‘these kids are telling the camera how high they are and being REALLY SUBTLE about it for their Facebook pages’ and my second thought was ‘this ‘Chinese Eyes’ thing isn’t dead yet???’ and my third thought was ‘I guess that Asian kid doesn’t smoke weed.’

Am I high?  Is she just racist?  Is she, more than and in addition to being racist, merely possessing of the worst taste in friends imaginable?  All of the above?  Discuss!

Closing thoughts:

1.  It’s clear we need to legalize pot if even Phelps, the world’s most boring person when on land, is doing it.

2. Regardless of the reason, Miley should be grounded.

3. MMM…salt and pepper Kettle chips….

4. The most disturbing thing about that photo for me is how much 4 of the kids in it look like millenial versions of people I knew in college.

In closing, you gotta love people.  For instance, none of these people gave advice such as: Don’t Effing Say That, You Twit.

Yay UK

Ok, clearly there needs to be some March Madness Bracketing to decide the best English commercial.  Cause this is pretty sweet as well:

-jam out!